Oh Motherhood.
I want to preface this with the fact
that I absolutely, truly LOVE being a
mother. It's the best thing in the world, and I would never change it for
anything. BUT there are challenges that people simply WILL NOT TALK ABOUT- and I think that's
ridiculous. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and we are better people
because of the experiences we choose to learn from.
Tonight I will get the pregnancy
part out of the way. My blog isn't going to be based on this area since it's
only 9 months of your life and you can suck it up- but here are some things you
should know.
· When you are pregnant, you may not glow. In fact- you may
get PUPPS. If you have a strong stomach, I encourage you to Google image it.
It's definitely not pretty, and it definitely wasn't on the list of things to
watch for from my OBGYN. The only thing to cure it is getting the child out of
your body. Easy enough right? Except I was only 32 weeks pregnant. That's
right, 8 more glorious weeks to go. I tried steroids, I tried itch relief
cream, I tried different detergent.. The only relief I did find was taking a
bath, which resulted in me taking about 8 a day for 8 weeks. The shit is itchy,
and uncomfortable. I urge you, if you have any sort of rash while pregnant to
talk to your doctor ASAP about it.
· You may not feel like dressing up while pregnant. And when I
say dressing up, I mean getting dressed. Period. I think that for my entire
pregnancy I probably got "dressed" (meaning out of my husband’s old
Marine shirts) twice. Yup, I'm not over exaggerating. Twice. There is the
possibility of you having ZERO energy- and that's because YOU ARE MAKING A
HUMAN INSIDE OF YOU. So, moral of the story, it's ok. Who cares? It's 9 months
out of your life and if you want to wear pajamas everyday no one should judge
you, including your husband. You are gorgeous no matter what you wear, and you
possess the best supernatural powers- making humans. That takes precedents over
everything.
· You may be lonely. Personally, my husband worked three jobs
while I was pregnant in preparation of our little one. I thought I would rely
on my friends, and found out I could only lean on one. It's a hard reality;
your friends without children slowly drift away. No longer are you tied by the
late nights out, and the after work gatherings. People grow and change, and
it's a fact of life. Your real friends will hold on strong, and will be your
support system. Trust me, when your child comes you won't want the friends that
weren't there anyways. Learn to trust the world we are in, and the situations
that arise- the fact that everything happens for a reason and just let go.
What's meant to be will be. Take this time to sleep. Sleep as much as you can,
because soon you won't be able to! My son didn't sleep through the night until
he was 18 months old! SLEEP, and let go of the little stuff. Nest, do whatever
you feel like you need to do to get prepared for your little one. Just don't
spend this precious time wasting thoughts on people that don't make you a
priority. It's time you will NEVER get back
· If you decide to have the glass of red wine that your doctor
says it's ok to have- DO NOT DO IT IN PUBLIC. My doctor encouraged me to occasionally
have a glass of good red wine once every few months while pregnant. I hadn't
had one the entire length of my pregnancy, but on the night of my husband's
undergraduate graduation from Coastal Carolina University I decided to order
one at dinner with the party. I was 8 months pregnant, sitting in the booth of
Bonefish Grill and I swear that every single person in the room stared at me.
Even the waiter looked at me funny. Let's face it, I would look at a pregnant
woman drinking anything other than water weird! Do it in the privacy of your
own home UNLESS you have SUPER thick skin. Needless to say, I didn't take much
more than a sip of the wine, and passed it to my husband to finish so that the
stares would drop. People will judge, whether you like it or not. Same goes
with coffee. I had a girlfriend who would order a starbucks a day and had
people make comments every time. It's her baby and choices, no one else’s. But
if you can't stand the stares and comments, don't do it in public and then cry
about it.
· You may not be able to afford everything new for your child.
My husband and I would never have been able to afford everything brand new for
Cameron, our first (and so far only) child. I spend a weekend in Michigan with
my grandmother shopping for the first year of clothes for my son at garage
sales among other items. The only new items we got were from our family and
friends. And guess what? I'm not a bad mother because his clothes came from
garage sales. He didn't know, other people didn't know, and they grow out of
them so fast I would have been mad if I spent more money on them. You will have
exploding diapers, throw up, formula stains all over the clothes. WHO should
spend a fortune on clothes that will be worn twice and ruined? No one. And you
shouldn't feel bad if you don't. I had a lot of guilt for this one, and I
shouldn't have. No one should. No one cares. ESPECIALLY not a child that can't
even hold their head up and just wants to sleep, eat, and poop.
I'm sure I am missing some, but again this is my preface
starting with pregnancy. More to come on real life with the babies out of the
womb :) And shit you have to deal with that people won't talk to you about.
